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Weakest. Comeback. Ever.

22 December 2010


There are a few reasons why I’m returning to my visual culture blog “Atama Ga Warui.” I figure I should bore my trickling viewership with the details since it’s been a year and a half since I’ve bothered to even look at this place.

Fact of the matter is this: I gave up. On this blog. On other things & people. Without a single word to anyone. Not because I stopped being an anime otaku, but because I had to find my way again – in life, goals, and love. I’ve managed to hit 2 of 3, while the latter remains as uncertain as ever.

Only recently did I remember that I used to agonize over what to blog about in the hopes that someone would find my musings worth time to read, let alone share it with their comrades. Coming in contact with Seanver via Twitter, who has only been blogging for the span of a year, indirectly turned me on to the idea of anime blogging again. Not only meeting him, but his circle of comrades as well, also revitalized the passion of what it means to be involved, relevant, and engaged in the overarching otaku communal conversation. In addition to recently obtaining some desired reading material coupled with my admiration for Danny Choo‘s excellent adventure has also gradually cultivated the desire to simply share.

The irony of this comeback was that the moment I decided this, I began planning yet another strategy/purpose to tack onto this blog’s existing one.

And then, I just didn’t care anymore. About the strategy. The end goal. How to convert readers into commentators. Even how this blog might somehow earn me the right to be included among the otaku I’ve only recently encountered on Twitter. Nothing. I just wanted to share.

So, I’m simply starting. Again.

That is my mindset as I type this out completely off-the-cuff. Whether this blog takes off or falls flat on its face again, I really don’t give two shits. I’ll blog when I feel like sharing something. I’ll put it out there, and either people will click or not. That’s their right to choose. Far be it from me to set any expectations on a community that I currently have no voice in among people who don’t care about me at all.

I’ll end with this.

There’s a ton of anime review blogs out there. “Atama Ga Warui” never wanted to be like them. Yes, I may share my opinions, but I [still] have no intention of being “yet another anime review blog” just to blend with the popular crowd. Just like I do with voice acting, I’ll have my own “sound” to add to the noise.

I have my work cut out for me, making changes around here and adding content little by little. And maybe, just maybe, this time will be different. Stick around and see what happens if you like.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. 23 December 2010 9:16:54

    Oh nice to be mentioned~

    Well looking forward to your posts

    • 23 December 2010 12:16:12

      I will be doing a lot of mentioning here (and forgot about pingbacks orz). Didn’t think you would find out about this so soon.

      Thanks and hope to have your support. I’ll do my best to give mine to the Moe Coalition.

  2. 26 June 2011 12:52:44

    I’m sorry to hear that your blog hasn’t been panning out the way you planned it. Honestly, I don’t think being creative and/or original is an easy thing, but (and I can say this with sincerity) I really enjoyed what little I’ve read here. I don’t usually say that with emphasis.

    Most blogs I’ve read can have an interesting article, but from the standpoint of an American ‘otaku’ (admittedly, I’m more than likely much younger than you–24 3/4 at posting), especially one that has been one most of his life, there’s something here that draws me in.

    I very much hope you continue blogging–whether it be specifically an ‘otaku’ anime blog, or just a regular blog, count me in. I’m a bit bad on keeping track of things–being a long-term college students does that, but if you do plan on adding bits here and there, I’ll be glad to read.

    Actually, what got me into your blog was a web search on whether there would be a season six of Slayers. You may think me odd in saying this, but like your blog article mentioned about Slayers, like they went outside the box, your articles do as well and have something remotely otakuian mystical about them–makes me think there are others (outside the inner circle of old schoolers) who understand that ‘anime’ and ‘manga’ aren’t just about entertainment, but a medium that entertains by expressing the human condition.

    • 27 June 2011 21:37:58

      Seeing as how I’ve failed to update yet again, receiving a comment like this is baffling. All the more reason to thank you for taking the time to write it.

      I’m actually exactly the same age as you right down to the 3/4ths believe or not. To write something that has drawn you (and likely a few others before they accepted the reality of my commitment) in is something I’m grateful for. Having the time, thoughts, and drive to do so amidst other pursuits is what lies my dilemma.

      To be honest, your comment has made me want to try again. Of course, this comes with no guarantee, but if I ever do, you can bet that I’ll be aiming to maintain that same feel that you certainly nailed in your description. I enjoy thinking & thinking differently about anime and manga, as I’m sure many creators hope their supporters will. As someone who writes creatively as well, the importance of things like the human condition and oft blurring perception of reality against fantasy among “otaku” are elements, I certainly hope that readers will experience more than just a “nice story.”

      Thank you again. =]

      • 27 June 2011 23:58:07

        -chuckles with an adamant, yet, whimsically impish smile-

        It must be something about the autumn of 1986 that brings out the best in people. I’d once heard my poetry instructor claim that the seasons, autumn and spring, promoted the most exposition from poets—maybe, (whether the ‘logic of necessitation’ agrees or not) there exists such a connection betwixt a time of birth and a theme of exposition?

        Seminal debasement by over-analysis and commentary aside, it is nice to read that my comments may have sparked anew the fire and drive to seek out the more ‘unique ‘ elements of the human condition and its expression, as contained within the multilayered elements of Japanese comic art and composition.

        Frankly, hearing about your struggles and their obvious similarity to my own struggles, urges me to follow suit. The one difference, I might point out, is that unlike me, you have managed to acquire a small following—perhaps, you are just better at quantifying things down to a single narrative paragraph (or two), whereas, I tend to labor on until my instructors are screaming at the top of their, surprisingly powerful, lung capacity that “[I] belong in the 19th Century”, or my friends begin to toss inanimate objects, often comprising bookshelves and sharp, deadly bladed weapons. -grin-

        Regarding your comments of “…time, thoughts and drive…” necessary to continue to maintain a blog, I thought you might find comfort it knowing you aren’t alone. It’s hard, being young and having the passion for a lot of things in life—I’m always being drawn to explore the multifaceted aspects of the worlds—just looking around my basement I see over fifty different and incomplete projects (my white board with my ideas to write a more satisfactory ending to Chrono Crusade, after the long and heated contemplations about how I wanted to rub our the anime/manga production team for turning what I expected to be one of my favorite animes into a complete tragedy, and leaving me hanging as to whether Chno and Rosette ever ended up together in heaven, or not; to the stacks and stacks of unread or partially read books I have lying about my basement and bedroom [physics, mathematics, history, art, chemistry, poetry—even a bunch of novels by my favorite authors I haven’t gotten around to]; even, tragically, the countless video games I’ve purchased, yet, never found time to play or finish—so many sad RPGs)—be it something as ever so simple as my inability to find time to draw or practice music, or keep up with website building or whatever else I have on my mind to do—to think you are not in a vast contingent of others, nay! You are but one of many. I am but another time labored person.

        The advice I have is threefold: First, what always helps me keep things moving is consistency. If you really feel passionate about something (your hobby), having a group to hold discussions about it always helps maintain motivation—not to mention, it gives you those ideas you were talking about—the thoughts.

        Second, ‘time’—that’s always a problem, but, if you feel passion for it, perhaps you need to do it and set a time every week, or every month and say (this day, for this time, I always dedicate to writing an entry for my blog). A long time ago, I decided Sundays were my day to write replies and contact friends on my deviantart account and email, etc. While I’m bad at consistency, it made things work because I could focus on other things and find that time to focus on that project I felt passion for (keeping in touch with friends), without it getting in the way of my other things, or visa versa. It also helped prevent me from forgetting. I’m always doing that. As they say, “Out of thought; out of mind.”

        Finally, the drive really comes down to the ‘why” of the situation. ‘Why’ am I doing this? Do I receive pleasure by not just being a passive going of this medium, but through actively responding and critiquing it? You seem, from your entry, to be very focused on motivating ‘otakus’ from a “passive” state of viewership/readership to an “active” state. Where in a “passive” state they simply watch or read and do not think and make the thing which they are viewing affect them personally, or bring about questions of personal reflection and introspection. Whereas, the “active” state is constant reflection upon topics, perhaps even, motivating the ‘otaku’ audience to write and begin ‘dialogs’ with one another on such globally changing narratives that might exist or be relevant to the medium.

        In other words—taking the viewer from a state of watching others talk, to becoming part of the conversation.

        If that really is a soul inspired prospect, then a psychologist might tell you that in not completing or fulfilling that inner need and drive (by finding the “reason” to do something, even when the momentary “motivation” escapes you, could result in a degradation, if not total breakdown, in your sense-of-self and personal accomplishment and impact on the global world, which can be a depression and overall, unfulfilling thing.

        [Looks back and the info-dump he just unleashed and bows down for mercy]

        But, whatever the case may be, these are just my experiences. I’d be glad simply knowing someone took the time to actively read what I wrote and thought and whether they implement it or not, that the moment of introspection they experienced was motivated by the clarity and value of my expression-of-self.

        Sorry—that probably makes little to no sense. -headdesk- One of these days I need to learn to be concise, but I doubt it will be soon. Good luck in your struggles and I hope you find the reason, be it through whatever means, to know what you really want to do with your time and energies. I struggle with finding that every day. My dad’s 61 and still hasn’t figured it out—so, I guess we are just lucky to be even searching at such a young age. ^__^’


        PS. I doubt anyone would ever think any of the media you write about was just a “nice story”. I certainly wouldn’t–unless, it was finals.

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